On your left!

Ok, gang. I'll try to make this post, short and to the point.

First, my disclaimer: (1) Seattle is one of the most bicycle-friendly cities in the country, and I'm proud of that fact; (2) although I'm no fanatic, I enjoy biking myself, for both fun and exercise.

Now, here's the meat. Too many of you bicyclists are reckless, insane and arrogant. Forget about the messengers downtown, the ones who swerve their way through traffic-congested streets, treating red lights as mere warnings as they dash into the intersection. Not talking about them. They live a different life by different rules, dedicated to a higher cause, and I of course appreciate their prompt deliveries. They risk only their own lives.

No, my concerns are aimed at those riders who choose to share my sidewalk while I'm out in running or walking mode. Look, guys, have fun, ok? Dress up in flashy lycra, colored so you look like a Harlequin at a Venetian masked ball, if you choose. God knows, that's your own business. But here's my request. No, my demand: Seattle has richly supplied you cyclists -- us cyclists -- with bike trails and bike lanes. Seattle also permits you to ride on the sidewalks, asking only that you exercise caution and yield the right of way to pedestrians.

But you gotta do your part.

My point? Let's assume -- just as hypothetical -- that I was out briskly walking across Montlake bridge an hour or so ago, enjoying the late autumn sunshine. And let's suppose that a biker came up behind me on the narrow sidewalk at about 20 mph. Let's suppose he bellows as he begins his pass -- at about the same time that the sonic boom from his approach hits my eardrums -- "On your left!" And finally, let's suppose that, having brushed by me so closely that I'm nearly knocked off my feet, he speeds off obliviously.

I submit that this constitutes neither cautious driving nor yielding the right of way. And yet this happens over and over and over. And over.

Listen up, bikers. "On your left" is a warning to a pedestrian that you are approaching from behind. Its purpose is to avoid undue surprise, so that the pedestrian doesn't suddenly change direction into your bike's path. You, the bicyclist, on whom the law imposes the duty of caution, need not puff yourself up with an attitude of great superiority while calling out the phrase. You need not suppose that you are a magnificent athlete, merely because your little machine allows you to move faster than a runner or walker. Got that?

Call out the phrase early, call it out politely, and ride slowly. And don't pass within inches of me as you go by. I'm no toreador, showing off how close I can stand before a rampaging bull as it charges past me.

Looks of arrogance are unwarranted, it goes without saying. No sneering. No hauteur, no condescension, no disdain -- you're not driving a freaking Porsche, after all, just a simple vehicle that even 7-year-olds own and know how to ride. Nothing about your demeanor should suggest that pedestrians are mere irritants, like ruts in a road, impeding your swift progress on your appointed rounds.

Your "On your left" should not suggest the diesel horn on a 15-axle semi. Nor is it the equivalent of "Make way, knaves!" shouted by a mounted knight, sword in hand, as he thunders through a herd of scattering peasants. The phrase establishes no right of way, no empowerment to commit mayhem. It is a simple courtesy, a warning to help prevent injury to either biker or pedestrian.

I simply bring these basic principles to your attention, dudes, because I'm mad as hell and I'm not gonna take it any more.

Happy cycling.