Twinky farewell

Just a quiet moment of silence, please, for the death of the Twinkies.  And the Ding Dongs.  And Sno Balls.  And, notably, Wonder Bread.

But -- to me, most tragically -- Hostess CupCakes.

Hostess Brands, Inc., the maker of all the above, and more, announced today that it's shutting down operations.  The company has been in bankruptcy since January, and a strike this week delivered the final blow.

American's changing food preferences have been cited as the underlying cause of the company's financial woes.  In other words, there is junk food and there is junk food.  And Hostess's products were really junk food. 

I could never fathom how anyone could eat Twinkies.  Ding Dongs were ok -- it's hard to dislike chocolate.  Sno Balls -- remember them?  one pink and one white per package? -- always looked good, and sounded good in concept, but never quite passed the eating test with me. Just a little too marshmallowy, maybe. 

Wonder Bread was the bread of my childhood.  White bread only, of course, although the brown bread seemed to differ from white only by the addition of food coloring.  You knew a brand of bread had to be good when it was so wonderfully soft and plushy that you could wad a slice into a tiny ball, a pellet of carbs so small that you could fit it into your bean shooter.  (No, I'm not sure that's true, but I'd be surprised if someone didn't do it.)

But the chocolate "CupCakes" -- the package of two chocolate cupcakes with chocolate frosting and a white squiggle across the top -- were a childhood favorite.  Happy (and rare) the day that I'd find them in my school lunch sack.  I loved them in high school.  And in college.  I'd pack them for energy and solace when I started off on a long day hike.  They were a pleasure that became guiltier and guiltier as the years passed, and as I became increasingly conscious of health concerns.

The Hostess cupcakes had one nutritional value: sugar.  Or as the British nutritional labels more coyly express it: "energy."  But they had a taste and a consistency that was well nigh irresistable once you had a package in your possession.

So today we lament not just the demise of an iconic American company, not just the passing of another set of familiar products from our childhood, but the passing of an era.  A time when depression-starved bodies craved "energy"-packed food, when processed food was a novelty that quickly replaced home baking, when our tastes were uncomplicated and unevolved.  When we ate whatever tasted good.

The government saved Chevrolets and Chryslers -- even greater icons of our youth -- but the maker of Twinkies and CupCakes apparently is not "too big to fail."  Our tastes in transportation remain pretty much the same as they were fifty years ago, but our tastes in food have moved along.  So rest in peace, Hostess Brands.

If I could have just one last Hostess cupcake with a glass of milk, I'd feel that I'd properly and happily celebrated the wake of a memorable American company.