Lessons learned

Walking across campus an hour or so ago, I stopped to get a cup of coffee and grabbed today's issue of the University of Washington Daily.  In it, I found a column that I liked well enough to read two or three times.  Arriving home, I'm delighted to find the Daily on-line, including said column.
 
As anxious readers will note, I haven't done much posting recently.  This has something to do with not having done much of anything recently, including thinking.  Nothing serious, just the occasional mental desert through which I sometimes find myself wandering.  But to make up to you, in some minimal way, for my lack of product, I've decided to present you with the Daily column.
 
Is it an excellent example of the essay form, or of a newspaper column?  Beats me.  I love to write essays, but I don't pretend to know what constitutes excellence.  But, as in so many areas of life, I know what I like, and I like this.  Although the student writer's life appears infinitely less boring than my own, I still sense a kindred seeking soul within. 
 
So, through the wonders of my computer's "copy and paste" function, without permission from either writer or newspaper, but with -- hey, it's something -- full attribution, I present in full Mr. Taylor's column:

Lessons learned outside of class: You can learn a lot wandering through the halls at night

 

By Holden Taylor

 

I’ve learned how to make small talk, though it’s something with which I still struggle. I’ve learned how to wean the coke out of my whiskey and coke, and I’ve learned which pack of cigarettes to buy, and I’ve learned which pens I like — Pilot G-2 1.0 mm. I’ve learned what kind of mattress I prefer — firm — and how to wash my own sheets. I’ve learned how to clip my toenails and how to order the haircut that I want. I’ve learned how to slice an onion and when to add the greens to a stir-fry. I’ve learned that cooking for others is always better than cooking for yourself, and I’ve learned how to properly roll a joint.

I’ve learned to live without television and that I like to run long distances late at night while listening to podcasts. I’ve learned that though big headphones are nice, the unpredictable soundtrack God plays us tends to be more captivating. I’ve learned that hard work is rarely replaceable, and I’ve learned that I can write other people’s essays for easy money.

 

I’ve learned that cherry blossoms in full bloom are never not beautiful and that fall leaves are better when dry. I’ve learned that pho cures most ailments and that five stars at one Thai place isn’t five stars at another. I’ve learned that I like to wear my favorite shirt many times a week and that socks should only be worn once, maybe twice, before washing. I’ve learned that a good mustache, like raising a child or growing a plant, takes both love and time, and I’ve learned that sometimes the library is the best place to be on game day.

 

I’ve learned that cuddling is good for the soul and that a lonely bed is tough to bear at night but worth it in the morning. I’ve learned how to fall in love and out of love, and I’ve learned how to appreciate
a drunken make-out session in the basement of a fraternity or on the dance floor of a crowded bar.

I’ve learned that every home needs candles and that toilet paper is nothing to skimp on. I’ve learned that a clean home is a sane home and that one dirty dish begets another. I’ve learned that everyone has their own issues and that nobody’s perfect, although we all try to be on Instagram.

I’ve learned that getting older is scary and that hangovers are getting worse and injuries are too. I’ve learned that questions like “So, what do you want to do?” and “What do you want to be?” never get easier to answer. I’ve learned that youthful idealism is something for which we all strive, and I’ve learned that Drake is the best rapper of our generation.

I’ve learned that grocery shopping while you’re hungry is a fool’s folly and that grocery shopping while you’re stoned is a magical adventure wherein the aisles of your local Safeway become the halls of Hogwarts. I’ve learned that raves are scary places and that the Mormons on campus will always be there to talk if you need them. I’ve learned that religious groups give out the best freebies and that ultimate Frisbee is the world’s best sport.

I’ve learned to eat when my stomach grumbles, to sleep when my eyes droop, and to stop writing when an article is over.