A political fantasy

--Hey, Barron, on your way to school?  Got a second?
--Um, I dunno.  Who are you?
--I'm Jim Roberts from the Washington Post?
--Yeah?  I heard you guys eat babies for breakfast.
--[laughs]  Well, only once in a while.  But not 12-year-olds; they're too tough.
--[laughs]  What do you want?  [to Secret Service:]  It's ok, I want to see what he wants.  Hey!  Don't. Touch. Me. Again!  I'm twice as tall as you and you don't @#$%-ing scare me.   And I don't think you're allowed to shoot me.
--The President says that the article by the anonymous op-ed writer in the New York Times was really just a childish prank by you?  Is that right?
--Dad said that?  [long pause]  Yeah I guess.
--You wrote it yourself?
--Ok.
--It sounded pretty grown-up.
--I'm supposed to be an autistic idiot, right?  I can write.
--Why did you write it?
--Why wouldn't I?  You said it was a prank?
--The President said that. A childish prank.
--Ok.  Yeah it was a prank. A childish prank.
--How did your father react when he found out you wrote it?
--How does he ever react?  Yelling, screaming, throwing stuff, red face?   But that's like every night anyway.
--He says he's grounded you for the next six years, right?
--[pause]  Ok.
--So does that mean you shouldn't be talking to me now?
--What's he going to do?  @#$%-ing ground me till I'm 50?.  [laughs]
--Spank you?  Slap you around?
--Dad?  Get physical?  [laughs]  He's got bone spurs, remember?
--[laughs]
--Or maybe he'll tweet me to death?
--[laughs again]  Well, I don't want you to be late to school.  I'll bet your school friends are impressed, huh?
--Impressed?  About what?
--That you're the President's son?
--That Donald Trump is my dad?  Oh yeah, totally impressed!  They're so completely @#$%-ing totally impressed that I can speak in complete sentences. And can read more than one page before I get bored.  [rolls eyes]
--[laughs]  Ok, Barron.  Thanks.  You sound like a smart kid. And you've got a good sense of humor.
--Well, thank you.  You’re ok too. For a baby-eater.