Saturday, May 31, 2008

Into the Surf


In my review of Into the Wild, I suggested that by the time Chris McCandless met his tragic death, he had decided to return to civilization, perhaps to enter Harvard Law School. What kind of life would he have led, had he lived?

The documentary Surfwise seems almost designed to give one answer to that question. Stanford Medical School has had many distinguished alumni. I doubt if any of its other alumni, however, has been as peculiar as Dorian "Doc" Paskowitz, whose life and family are the focus of this film.

Doc Paskowitz more or less quit medicine, except on a piecemeal basis, and became the ur-surfer. He was surfing, in Hawaii, in California, in Israel, before most people had ever heard of surfing. But Surfwise isn't really a surfing documentary. Instead, it's about the way Paskowitz raised his eight sons and one daughter, and -- like Into the Wild's treatment of McCandless -- it's about the odd duck sort of guy Paskowitz was. (And still is -- he's still hobbling around, still being argumentative, and still surfing at age 86.)

While surfing, he and his wife, a Mexican-Indian who sang Bach, produced a kid every year. He packed all nine kids, his wife, and himself into a small camper, and, for 25 years, that was home. The family traveled wherever he felt inclined, whenever he felt like it. They surfed. Surfing was mandatory for all the kids, and was not a debatable option. He was a Jewish patriarch, whose promised land was the ocean. He ruled his family like a patriarch, with deep love but as a despot. His children of course became outstanding surfers, and in the 1970's they were considered the "first family" of surfing.

None of his kids went to school. None was home-schooled. He felt that schools -- from the worst ghetto school right up to his Stanford alma mater -- taught only "knowledge." Surfing "educated." To him, this distinction was vital.

Eating right -- no sugar, no fats -- was also vital. The kids ate a multi-grain boiled cereal every breakfast of their lives. Honey was a rare and treasured luxury. As kids, they were lean as poles. The daughter, looking back, said that when they were lined up for a photo, in order of descending height, they looked like a human xylophone.

Exercise was vital. Mainly surfing, but also just the hard work of daily life. Paskowitz felt humans should live as much like other animals as possible. If there were two ways to do a chore, they never did it the easy way. They had no income, except for a surfing school that they ran at times in California (and which one son still runs). Everyone remembers the day in Louisiana that their dad laid a coin on the table and announced to the family that they were looking at their last dime. Doc Paskowitz was exhilarated by the challenge.

He told his kids that there were only three careers worth pursuing -- being a surfer, a rock star, or a bum. He raised them so that they had few other alternatives. Today, as adults, they each pretty much fall into one of those three categories. The exception is the daughter, who calls herself a conventional Jewish housewife.

The kids have mixed feelings about their dad's "experiment," as do we the audience. In some ways, they had childhoods filled with difficult physical challenges and hardships. On the other hand, with the exception of a son who preferred drawing to surfing, they feel that they had the happiest childhood imaginable. It left them, however, totally unsuited for life in American society today.

One son tells how, as a teenager, he decided to be a doctor, just as his dad had been. A counselor told him that he would need ten years of education just to bring himself up to the point where a first rate university would be willing to consider him. He gave up. He felt he had no other choice.

For some reason, their up-bringing caused them all to give up, in various ways. They don't seem to have the energy to cope, to overcome the hurdles posed by their limited education. While their dad is still lean and sinewy, the adult sons seem flabby, with one being seriously obese.

In any other era, one son notes, their dad might have been viewed as a great Jewish leader and mystic. But in our time, in America, the son concludes, he was a failure at most levels of his life. If "Doc" had passed on his ideals to his children, but had also given them the education they needed as adults, their verdict now might be far kinder.

To their dad, the failure lies elsewhere. "My kids are lazy," he says, strutting along the beach. He means lazy physically, and lazy mentally. Doc Paskowitz may have made many mistakes in raising his family, some of which he concedes. But no one would call him lazy.

He proselytizes. He actively promotes his new book, Surfing and Health (by Dorian Paskowitz, M.D. ©2007). He acts. Last summer, this Jewish doctor personally delivered 15 surfboards to Palestinians in the Gaza strip, talking Israeli border officials into opening the border for that purpose. He speaks firmly and assertively, staring intently into the camera. He is one with himself, one with nature.

The lean old man stands straight as an arrow, solid as a surfboard. He stares out at the boiling ocean surf, the surf that gives profound meaning to his entire life.

-----------------------------
Surfing's a metaphor. And indeed, that's just what it is, a Pillar, a post to tie Health and Lifestyle to. Health is much, much more than just not being sick. Health is the presence of a Superior State of Well Being-a vigor, a vitality, which must be worked for each and every day of your life.

--Dorian Paskowitz, MD (blurb for his book)

In for a good spell


Congratulations to Sameer Mishra, of West Lafayette, Indiana!

Sameer, age 13, is the winner of the 2008 Scripps National Spelling Bee championship, the sole survivor out of 288 competiters from every American state and territory and Canadian province, as well as a scattering of entries from other nations, such as Germany, New Zealand, and South Korea.

As a guy for whom correct spelling is important -- but who still occasionally has to whisper to himself "I before E except after C, or when sounded as A as in neighbor and weigh" -- I view spelling bees, and similar events such as geography bees, as equivalents to the NCAA play-offs, play-offs for kids who may feel more comfortable at a computer, or reading a book, than on a basketball court.

Certainly the work required to even qualify for a national spelling bee is equal to that required of a star athlete. Sameer won by spelling the misleadingly simple word guerdon, meaning something that someone has won. Other contestants met their doom when facing words such as prosopopoeia, opificer, étagère, secement, and sheitel. (And don't you try to kid me that you know what any of those words mean!)

I've been impressed with the young people who prepare for spelling bees ever since I saw the 1999 documentary Spellbound. The movie impressed me with the varied background of the participants in these events, kids from all economic levels of our society, and from the full spectrum of ethnic groups. In Spellbound, some of the most successful spellers were children of immigrants from India -- as is Sameer, whose parents immigrated from central India and whose father now teaches microbiology at Purdue. Scenes from the film that revealed how all the youngsters (but the Indian-Americans, most notably) prepared for the bees -- total commitment, complete concentration, and daily devotion of every spare moment of their lives -- gave me some idea of what it takes to reach the national levels.

When I hear Americans grumble about all the foreigners immigrating to this country, I think of people like Sameer and his father -- and about his older sister, herself a former competiter at the national spelling bee, who received her letter of admission to Princeton on the same day that her brother won the championship. I think about the young Americans of Indian, Japanese, and Hispanic descent in Spellbound, and the ceaseless effort they put into preparing for spelling bees, the same effort that they predictably will devote later to their educations and careers.

I wonder who the grumblers are kidding, besides themselves?

The day we stop attracting immigrants to this country will be the day I know for sure that our sun as a nation is setting.

But let's forget the politics for now. Congratulations not only to Sameer, but to all the hard-working boys and girls who were smart enough and dedicated enough to struggle their way through local and regional competitions, and joined the elite group of 288 who competed at the national level.

Including, of course, our local Washington state heroes, Hunter Lehmann, of Poulsbo; Elysa C. Stone, of Anacortes; Elizabeth Zhang, of Snoqualmie; and Christian C. Menendez, of Tonasket.

--------------------
Photos, top to bottom: Sameer Mishra (Indiana); Lance Letson Hungar (Virginia); Hunter Lehmann (Washington).

Saturday, May 24, 2008

And throw away the key


I know not whether Laws be right,
Or whether Laws be wrong;
All that we know who lie in jail
Is that the wall is strong;
And that each day is like a year,
A year whose days are long.
--Oscar Wilde

Yesterday, a Tacoma judge sentenced a serial rapist to 227 years in prison. That's a long time to sit around, pondering whether it was really all worth it, whether you'd perhaps made some unfortunate choices. The convicted man's wife -- yes, he seems to be happily married -- broke down in tears. She "described him as a wonderful father and said she still loves him," according to newspaper accounts.

In handing down such a lengthy sentence, the judge was ensuring that the gentleman, now age 28, would never be released on parole. But just imagine if he were to really live long enough to serve his full term. He would be released -- a free man -- in A.D. 2235.

Well, that's not too impressive. It's just a number.

Ok, think of it this way. If he were being released today, on completion of his sentence, he necessarily would have been sentenced back in 1781. The trial wouldn't have been in Tacoma. Happily, there was no Tacoma back then. But there was also no Portland and no Seattle. Lewis and Clark's trek westward still lay 22 years in the future. Local residents in these parts feasted on salmon and berries, dressed casually, cursed the constant rain, and tried to outspend their neighbors through conspicuous consumption. (Not all that much has changed, I guess.)

So let's say our felon had been sentenced in Boston.

Wherever he was sentenced and imprisoned, eight years later, at age 36, he no doubt would hear through the prison grapevine that a Constitutional Convention in Philadelphia had agreed on some sort of constitution for the thirteen colonies. At age 59, he would learn that war had again broken out between America and Britain, and that the White House had been burned. (The Brits' conduct was deplorable. Conservative commentators called the limeys "evil," and said we should refuse to talk to them until there had been a regime change.) But time passed. As an aged inmate, 107 years of age, he might rejoice upon hearing of the firing on Fort Sumter -- maybe the Southern rebels would release Union prisoners if they won? And how about the Spanish-American War? Let's not even go there.

Nope, not to belabor the point further. Let's concede that he'd note a few changes when he was released in 2008. They didn't even have iPods or Cheetos back in 1781. But my point, insofar as I have one, is that the idea of a 227-year prison sentence is like the idea of the national debt. It's a figure that's so huge that it makes no sense until it's considered in some concrete context. For example, to visualize the national debt, we might measure the height of the stack of $1,000 bills that would be required to repay it. And in contemplating the meaning of 227 years, looking backward, we see how much has changed in that time. We can only speculate how much will have changed before his sentence is completed in 2235.

It's not a sentence that I -- or you, I trust -- would care to serve. Certainly not in payment for the twenty rapes for which he was sentenced -- adventures whose joys probably didn't really live up to his expectations, in any event.

(And that's it,/that's all I have to say./I have no greater cosmic lesson,/to insist upon today.)

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Under the Desert Sun























Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.
--Tolstoy

Tolstoy didn't know my family. We're happy, but in our own way.




























































Palm Desert, May 18, with the thermometer hitting 110°. Only mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the noonday sun. And us, of course, but we're closer to mad dogs than to Englishmen.

What could be more natural, for a mildly eccentric family, than putting on a little costume drama, to while away the blazing desert hours?

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Too Black for West Virginia?


Tuesday's primary in West Virginia was hardly the high point of the Obama campaign. The electoral numbers are still being sorted and crunched. Many unusual voting trends -- unusual, at least, compared to earlier primaries in other states -- have been identified.

Over fifty percent of the Democratic voters in West Virginia believe that Barack Obama does not share their values and is not honest and trustworthy. More amazing -- fifty percent believe that Obama secretly shares the views of the Rev. Jeremiah Wright. I find this incredible.

Before West Virginia, Obama's opponents charged him with "elitism." This charge was at least believable, I felt. Obama is highly educated. The more educated one becomes, the greater the danger that he is, or seems to others, an "elitist." "Elitism," in this sense, can be the downside of being educated, sophisticated, and cosmopolitan.

People with those traits, traits that are good in themselves, tend to clump together in groups of the like-minded. They dominate the west and east coasts. While they may well differ among themselves in their political opinions and pet solutions to national problems, they tend to hold a uniform outlook toward life. In today's world, that outlook includes reliance on rational thought as opposed to emotion or tradition in arriving at decisions; individualism; a sense of being a "citizen of the world" rather than simply an American; a sense that standards of right and wrong evolve with changing conditions; an ease with ambiguity and an aversion to seeing problems in terms of black and white; and a tendency to view opponents as human beings with understandable wants and needs, folks with whom one can negotiate, rather than demons that must be destroyed.

To me, at least, these are all admirable traits. But when everyone you know, your friends and your competitors alike, share this same unified outlook toward life, you're in danger of being surprised when you meet others who do not share that outlook. Subconsciously, you feel continually off balance, constantly facing not so much arguments that are unexpected and surprising, as ways of viewing the very nature of the dispute itself in a way that's disorienting.

The so-called elitist may conclude that he's dealing with people who are not quite sane, or at least not quite rational and aware of all the facts. Unfortunately, these people are not stupid, and they are quite intelligent enough to be insulted by this reaction. Hence, the charge of elitism.

I have no idea whether Obama is really an elitist, in this sense. It's a claim easy to make when your adversary enjoys engaging in abstract and speculative discussion, as Obama does. The derisive term "egghead" was enough to sink the political future of Adlai Stevenson. But, regardless of its reality, the charge of elitism had enough credibility to be worthy of concern for Obama's supporters.

But the claim that Obama shares the world outlook of Rev. Wright seems, to me, bizarre. This is a man who had to fight for the black vote, because he was viewed as "not black enough." "Black" is not just skin color, in America today. It's a stereotypical assembly of habits, customs, attitudes and speech patterns, all of which arouse the scorn of many whites. Obama shares none of them. His life may have been hard at times, but his teenage years were spent attending prep school, not fighting on the streets of south Chicago.

The infinitely more believable accusation would be that Obama pretends to be blacker than he really is, in order to keep his grip on the black electorate. Obama needs to persuade a lot of West Virginia white voters of that fact between now and November.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Well done, Mr. Potter


Today is the first time in ten years that one of the Harry Potter books, or the entire series, cannot be found on the iconic best seller lists of the New York Times Book Review. In today's issue, the Times has observed this landmark with a full column, entitled "Goodbye Harry."

Back in 1998, a reviewer for the Times welcomed the initial book (in what was to become a series) with a favorable review. No one, including the reviewer, could have predicted that the book he reviewed would be merely the first ripple, the first harbinger of a tidal wave of Potter-mania that was to wash over the world in the decade to come. He began his review as follows:

So many of the beloved heroes and heroines of children's literature -- from Cinderella and Snow White to Oliver Twist and the Little Princess to Matilda, Maniac Magee and the Great Gilly Hopkins -- begin their lives being raised by monstrously wicked, clueless adults, too stupid to see what we the readers know practically from Page 1: This is a terrific person we'd love to have for a best friend. And so it is with Harry Potter, the star of "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone," by J.K. Rowling, a wonderful first novel from England.

The Harry Potter books are far from being my favorite fantasy books or, for that matter, my favorite children's books. But the Times reviewer clearly caught that theme that calls to every child -- a hero, whom the child can adopt as a best friend or as his own alter ego, who appears ordinary and worthless to the "big people" in his life, but who has some hidden quality that renders him vastly superior -- in both power and goodness -- to those who oppress him. How such a hero learns to use that power, how he overcomes the hurdles that his oppressors place before him, how he rises above that oppression to fight far greater battles against far greater enemies, and how he resists the temptation to use his growing powers for unworthy ends -- this is the trajectory that the life of every great hero in history and in literature can be seen to trace.

More than a kid's daydream, moreover, it is also the story that each of us secretly, deep inside and hidden from the scorn of others, tells of himself and imposes on the events of his own life. This is not an unworthy story. It is a story that has been told to children in various forms throughout history. There are worse models for any child to adopt and follow throughout his life.

So congratulations, Harry. You have risen far above your muggle critics, detractors and reviewers. You have overcome your own doubts and temptations. You have faced down Voldemort and defeated him.

May every kid who reads you aspire to do the same.

Friday, May 9, 2008

The Final "Solution"


Organic chemistry is a fascinating subject, with many practical applications. For example, take the chemical reaction, common in nature, called alkaline hydrolysis.

Alkaline hydrolysis is a simple, natural process by which complex molecules are broken down into their constituent building blocks by the insertion of ions of water (H2O), H+, and OH- between the atoms of the bonds that held those building bocks together.
--Kaye, Weber & Wetzel, Alkaline Hydrolysis, ALN Magazine (Sept/Oct 2004)

The process is sometimes called "saponification," i.e., the conversion of complex organic molecules into a soluble soap.

"Alkaline hydrolysis" is becoming the topic à la mode among today's knowledgeable practitioners in the ever-lively mortuary profession.

Burial uses up space. "A little ol' grave, just six by three," as the cowboy song goes. Well, yeah, but that's 18 square feet. Even piggybacking coffins on top of each other, that can add up to a lot of acreage in a short time. Especially with the baby boomers coming along. They've been greedy about everything else, right? They guzzled up the gasoline, churned out the carbon gases, burned up the social security trust fund. Next, they'll want to turn every last acre of this blessed green earth into little shrines to the memory of their misbegotten lives.

An increasing number of folks are turning to cremation, just for this reason. But cremation itself burns up a lot of natural gas. Got to get those ovens really blazing (1400° to 2100° F.), and the process itself involves breaking the loved one down into his or her constituent carbon and nitrogen molecules, oxyidizing them, and releasing nitrous gases and CO2 into the atmosphere. More carbon gases, more global warming. Sheesh.

But now comes the -- as it were -- solution: I give you alkaline hydrolysis. It's tidy, it's natural, it's relatively non-polluting.

All you need is lye (NaOH, sodium hydoxide, a cheap and plentiful industrial chemical), a little warmth (300° F.), and a little pressure (60 psi). The revered ancestor is placed lovingly into what is essentially a pressure cooker, he is basted liberally with lye broth, the top is sealed in place, and the contents are warmed up. Sort of like stewing chicken in your grandma's old-fashioned pressure cooker, an image that throws sort of a warm, snuggly blanket of nostalgia over the dissolution process.

A slight amount of insoluable bone residue unavoidably remains behind, but Aunt Matilda or Uncle Charlie has essentially been dissolved into a coffee-colored syrup, with the consistency of motor oil (I didn't catch the appropriate SAE grade number, but you get the idea). This "syrup" is really just soapy water, plus whatever remaining NaOH didn't enter into the reaction with the loved one. The entire broth can be poured safely down the drain, just like dish water. The excess lye will probably keep the drains clean, as well -- a happy collateral benefit.

Liquid waste from cadavers goes down the drain at both the Mayo Clinic and the University of Florida, as does the liquid residue from human tissue and animal carcasses at alkaline hydrolysis sites elsewhere.

--MSNBC (5-8-08)

As the old humorous lyric goes, the one about the skinny gal in the bathtub:

Oh my goodness!
Oh my soul!
There goes Lily,
Down the hole!

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, syrup to syrup.

May his soul, and the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace.

Gurgle, gurgle, gurgle.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

HTML For Little Fingers

Exercise 2: Let's build another table!


The Demonstrative Pronoun

"hic, haec, hoc"

Singular Plural
masc. fem. neut masc. fem. neut.
Nom. hic haec hoc hi hae hae
Gen. huius huius huius horum harum horum
Dat. huic huic huic his his his
Acc. hunc hanc hoc hos has hae
Abl. ho ha ho his his his