Lorsque vous n'avez aucun Bud, vous n'avez pas de bière.

"Hey, Janice! Ya gonna space out by that TV all night, or d'ya think maybe you could spare some time to bring us that pitcher of Bud ya got in yer hand?"

"Don't you mouth off to me, Sam," the barmaid grinned, sliding the full foaming pitcher onto the table. "Save your smartass remarks for your poor wife."

Just another Friday night at Riverside Tavern. The usual gang of ten befuddled beer guzzlers sitting at the back of the room, their elbows wet from beer slopped on the table

"Damn shame about Bud," one sighed, downing his glass in a gulp.

"You mean those Frenchies or whatever buying it up?"

"Yup. Next thing you know the goddam White House will be up for sale."

"And the damn government back in Washington sits around worrying about Canadians sneaking across the border. Couldn't care less about a bunch of frogs buying up our whole damn country!"

"We should sue!" Bill, who usually sat quietly drinking and listening to the others, spoke up loudly, surprising his friends. "Why wait for the damn feds -- let's do it ourselves!"

And I suppose that's how ten self-described beer drinkers ended up bringing suit in St. Louis federal court today, seeking to block the sale of Anheuser-Busch to the Belgian beer maker InBev. Luckily, these ten typical boozers managed to find Joseph Alioto -- one of the nation's most prominent anti-trust lawyers, who has reportedly brought anti-trust lawsuits at one time or another against virtually every major American company -- to be their attorney.

"The famous Clydesdale horses will be put out to pasture and the great American lager will no longer be American," Alioto declared in a statement released to the press.

The lawsuit claims that the combined company would exert an effective monopoly over beer production in the United States, allowing it to dictate prices to the consumer.

St. Louis based Anheuser-Busch produces Budweiser (the country's top selling beer) and Michelob. InBev is best known in this country for its Stella Artois brand, a niche beer most famous for its clever filmed advertisements shown in art theaters, and for its slogan, "Perfection has its price."

The effect of the proposed merger on American consumer prices would be similar to the effect on auto prices if General Motors decided to purchase the Lamborghini division from Volkswagen. Would that affect what you pay for a Chevy?

Sorry, guys, Bud's Belgian now. À la votre!