All good doggies go to heaven

Paradise is open to all of God’s creatures.
--Pope Francis

Pope Francis is learning the same sad lesson that American politicians have learned:  In an internet world, nothing is "off the record."  Words of consolation to a grieving child have stirred up world-wide theological controversy.  A lengthy article analyzing those eight (in English translation) words is at present the most e-mailed story out of the New York Times.

Animal lovers square off against theological conservatives, as well as against lovers of logic and just plain skeptics.  So if Rover goes to heaven, many ask, what about mosquitoes?  What about Ebola viruses?  Plants?  Do we all need to be vegetarians?  What if plants have souls, too -- must we starve to death?

Christianity, and the Catholic Church in particular, historically has displayed an irrepressible urge to pronounce on matters that have not been revealed in revelation and that are not necessary for salvation -- based solely (no pun intended) on what, in the applicable century, was at that time considered sound logic.  (Check with Galileo on this topic.)

I hope this issue won't result in another such pronouncement.

Why does it matter whether dogs, cats, or protons go to heaven?  It matters no more -- and is less interesting -- than the question of whether intelligent life in a distant galaxy will end up there.  As for those NYT correspondents who say they don't want to go to heaven if they can't have their cat join them, as well as those who claim that heaven would be hell because of their allergy to cat hair -- just relax, ok?

Things are going to be different in heaven.  Assuming we meet the admission requirements, so will we.  Radically different.  My pastor once addressed an analogous question -- I think it was how a woman could put up with being married to more than one guy in heaven, when she had remarried after being widowed -- by saying, essentially: "Don't be an idiot.  No one knows what the afterlife will be like.  We will be living in a totally different plane of reality."  Christians simply have been advised that they'll like it.

Everyone who upsets himself on either side of the "dog in heaven" controversy should read science fiction.  Not because science fiction will give you any answers, but as a way of limbering up your imagination and helping you realize that the nature of ultimate reality -- to paraphrase a famous physicist -- may be not only stranger than you imagine, but stranger than you can imagine.

So, don't sweat it.  I'm convinced that all will work out for the best, whatever the "best" might be -- not just for us humans, but for dogs, mosquitoes, redwood trees, and viruses.

Even Ebola viruses. Assuming they've been good Ebola viruses.