Coffee by app

Within the life span of many of us, buying a cup of coffee was once easy.  "Black or white, Mac?" the guy at the counter asked.  Or maybe you poured your own milk.  He poured the black stuff into a mug, you handed him a nickel, and the deal was done.  (If you wanted a doughnut along with your coffee, that would cost you another nickel.)

Nowadays, getting coffee is a major production.  And, of course, a latte or a cappuccino -- essentially, again, coffee with milk -- will set you back nearly four dollars.

But it's the time waiting that kills me.  First, the time in line.  Watching while each person ahead of you specifies, after some waffling, the precise configuration of the coffee on which he insists.  The kind of milk (soy? almond? cow? cow nonfat? or 2 percent?), and the various flavor additives (mocha?  with a hint of cinnamon?  laced with caramel?).  The discussions become intense, until I want to yell "Are you ordering a coffee or negotiating for purchase of the damn franchise?"

After the purchase has been negotiated, and purchase money agreement signed, you cool your heels for a frustrating length of time while other orders are being slowly filled.  Because espresso drinks aren't just poured out of a machine.  No sir. Not in a decent coffee shop.  Not in a Starbucks.  A lot of human input goes into the preparation of each drink, and it takes time to get that little heart shape to appear just right on top of the beverage.

But yes.  We are a different people today.  We don't order wine in a restaurant by response to "red or white?"  We don't gulp a hot cup of black java, filtering out the grounds with our teeth.  We spend more time at our epicurean pleasures, much more time, but there certainly is a pay-off in quality.

But, as I say, I have retained my sense of being a busy man from pre-retirement days.  I can't stand to dawdle, waiting long minutes to be served.

Now, as many of you know, Starbucks has an app you can load on your phone.  I loaded it, maybe a year ago, intending to try it out.  I just never got around to it.  Probably awfully complicated, I thought.

Bad mistake. The app is not difficult to use.  It takes you through the modern complexities of ordering a cup of coffee (and whatever sweets you require to go with your coffee) step by step.  I know, because I finally gave it a try a week ago. 

I was out walking, about ten minutes from a Starbucks in University Village that I occasionally visit, and decided that this would be a good time to try the app.  The only real problem, not serious, was making sure that I told the app which Starbucks outlet I planned to visit.  (I'm a guy who once used his phone to order tickets to a movie showing at AMC's theater in Dallas.)   But once I located the correct franchise, ordering was easy.  The app asked me a couple of times if I really wanted to do what I said I did, giving me confidence that the app understood the frailties of mortal men. 

I clicked the "Order" button, and was assured that in 7 to 12 minutes my order would be ready.  I arrived at Starbucks, walked in, and there it was -- my tall, non-fat latte!  Just as ordered.  With my name on it.  I picked it up, unchallenged, and found myself a seat.

As I posted jubilantly on Facebook, I was blown away.  No waiting.  No shuffling my feet.  Just walk in and pick it up!  I felt that a whole new way of living life had opened up to me.  My Facebook post received a number of good-humored approvals from young secretaries who had been ordering coffee on their phones for most of their short lives.

My only problem is how fun it was.  I've ordered a Starbucks coffee virtually every day since that first glorious try.  It's not just the time saved.  There is something amazingly fun about ordering on my phone, and finding my order ready.  The same sort of pleasure I had as a ten-year-old, playing with the levers and buttons on the transformer of my new electric train, and watching my powerful little locomotive respond to my directions.

Sure, I feel silly.  And juvenile.  But I don't mind telling you that, until the novelty hopefully wears off, my only problem will be avoiding ordering coffee several times a day.